Hi I’m 13 and I’m certain I’m gay. Lately friends and family have been making “jokes” about how I’m a dyke and things like that. I was wondering if you have any advice on how to come out.

I’m sorry they have been calling you that. I don’t know what your circumstances in life are but here is what I would tell anybody who is in the currently in the closet: 

You don’t have to come out to anyone if you don’t want to or feel that you can’t. 

As a closeted person, I felt so guilty about not being out. I felt that there was this pressure to come out to everyone because I thought that I was being dishonest, sly, or even manipulating if I wasn’t like giving the person next to me in the grocery store a heads up that I wasn’t Straight. When in in reality the most important things are that you are okay with who you are and, especially if you are financially dependent on other people, that you are in place where your personal safety won’t be compromised if you come out. 

So figure out how you feel about yourself and what the potential consequences would be if you came out to certain friends and family members. I believe it’s always better to work through any internalized homophobia in case you face negative reactions from other people but I KNOW that safety should be your top priority: You don’t have to come out to anyone if you don’t want to or feel that you can’t. 

Good luck, anon <3