Hi, do you think that suicide can be a form of emotional euthanasia if it’s evident that a person has tried their best. Reached out to those they were closest to, only to be told they were too much. I have complex PTSD and struggle with my gender identuty. The reality is that i am too much & the only thing for that is death. I’ve taken all the pills I was prescribed and I just wanna know that I’m doing the right thing for everyone. Suicide isn’t a sin, right?

What you are doing is not right for everyone. I know you want a different answer than that but I can’t give it to you. 

I don’t believe in sin, and I don’t believe in guilting people into staying alive because I don’t believe guilt and shame are good motivators. 

I believe that living is hard, and I know that death can seem like such a needed rest from it. But I also know that what is hard is often what is most worth doing.

I can’t tell you it will get better or easier, and I am not a trained professional so I am not going to pretend I know what I am doing here. But I can tell you that you dying would make the world worse off. 

Not knowing anything about you I have absolute confidence in saying that if you die, the world will be lesser for it. 

The world needs hurt people in it. It needs people who are breaking, and tired and want to give up. The world needs people who have been through pain, and those who are still going through it. The world needs you.

I know this because you messaged us. Because when I read this message I knew I had to answer it even if you never saw that answer because I have gone through it too. And when I came out the other side I was given a responsibility, to use that experience to be there for those who haven’t gotten through it yet. And one day I hope you feel that responsibility too. 

I believe that pain does not exist for the sake of itself. I believe that there is an order to the universe, and I believe that the universe gives us one thing that can get us through every hardship we encounter. The promise of change. 

Everything changes, that is the only constant I believe in, and that is the only thing to get me out of bed some days. Because while sometimes our brains will try to lie to us and tell us otherwise, nothing lasts. Everything that feels never-ending now will disappear in the rearview mirror if you continue on long enough to let it.

This too shall pass.

So please give it the time to. 

You can contact me anytime to talk, through here, or our email at queerhistorypatreon@gmail.com. 

You should also contact professionals, the suicide hotline for your area should be available if you search online.